| |
"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
Volume 15, Number 6, February 7, 2010
Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First,maybe things aren’t really so bad after all. A December USA Today analysis showed that during the first 18 months of the recent recession, beginning December 2007, the number of federal employees with six-figure salaries shot up from 14 percent of the federal workforce to 19 percent. Defense Department civilian executives earning more than $150,000 grew from 1,868 to more than 10,000, and the Department of Transportation, which had only one person earning $170,000 in December 2007, now has 1,690. The average federal salary is $71,206, compared with the private sector's $40,331. I knew I should’ve worked for the Feds….
Next, some parents of students at the Al-Islah Muslim girls' school in Blackburn, England, discovered that a staff secretary, Shifa Patel, 28, had a Facebook page, featuring photos of herself dressed in other than her full-body robe and headscarf, which are her everyday school attire. The photos also reveal that she has close-cropped hair (oh, no! Say it isn’t so….). One assumption led to another, and soon Patel was accused of being a man who dresses as a woman in order to mingle with females. Patel went to the trouble of getting a doctor's certificate of her gender, but the parents refused to accept it, and Patel (and the school's headmistress) ended up resigning (at least they weren’t stoned to death or beheaded). [Daily Mail]
Finally, another kind of bonus? An embarrassed banker has been caught looking at near-nude photographs on his computer, with his actions broadcast live on Australian television. The Macquarie Private Wealth employee clicked up the images of Australian model Miranda Kerr, unaware a colleague nearby was doing a live television interview about the Australian economy. Australia's Seven Network broadcast the news item with the photographs clearly showing on a computer screen in the background (oh, no!). At one stage, the man turns and looks directly at the television camera and realizes his actions have been caught on camera. The incident has become a global internet hit with over 200,000 views and a 5-star rating on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhIu7qp5vo8) and was reported widely in Australia's newspapers. Macquarie Bank, known locally as the "millionaire's factory', said it was taking the matter seriously. “Macquarie has strict policies in place surrounding the use of technology and the issue arising from today's live cross on Seven News is being dealt with internally," the bank told local media. (Well, I certainly hope so!) (Reuters)
(Mostly) Real Headlines Just Begging to be Read (one is fake – guess - answer is further down): (1) “743 pounds of marijuana found in septic tank truck, Arizona police say.” (2) “Pet owner killed by dogs after saving them from death.” (3) “Man returning Toyota with faulty accelerator crashes into dealership when accelerator gets stuck.” (Great irony there) (4) “Man Accused Of Killing, Dismembering Girlfriend Because She Was A Warlock.'” (5) “PHOTOS: Prince Harry And Prince William Mock Each Other's Hair.” (6) “Bosom bombers: Women have explosive breast implants. Authorities alarmed by possibility of surgically placed explosives.” (7) “39% Of Packaged Salads Contain 'Unacceptable' Levels Of Fecal Bacteria.” (8) “9-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth To Healthy Baby Boy In China.” (10) “Red Lobster Introduces New Mechanical Jumbo Shrimp Ride.” (11) “12-Year-Old Girl To Stay Married To 80-Year-Old Cousin.” (12) “Man fatally shoots pet parrot for screeching during NASCAR race.”
Oops! The Texas Education Board banned the picture book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? this month because they confused its author, Bill Martin Jr., and Bill Martin, the author of a book called Ethical Marxism: The Categorical Imperative of Liberation. It's a mistake that could have been corrected with a two-minute google search. One tip off might have been that Bill Martin, Jr. -- who published over 300 books for children -- died approximately six years ago, and Bill Martin the author of Ethical Marxism -- which was published in 2008 -- is alive -- a professor at DePaul University in Chicago. More embarrassing for Texas educators, still, is that Bill Martin Jr. spent the final years of his life in Commerce, Texas, working closely with faculty at Texas A&M University, home to the Bill Martin Jr. Memorial Library, the Bill Martin Jr. Scholarship, and who sponsors the Bill Martin Jr. Memorial Symposium every spring. Embarrassing gaffs, sure. But what is the real fear here? The spread of Marxism among Texas' early reader population? A threat to capitalism? Pat Hardy made the motion to ban Brown Bear, Brown Bear, citing that Bill Martin's work for adults contains "very strong critiques of capitalism and the American system." Yeah, they should be talking about bull markets! (Huffington Post)
Speaking of “education,” the NY Daily News reported that cold-hearted officials aren't buying a Brooklyn high school senior's excuse for missing her final exam before graduation - homelessness. Rosa Bracero couldn't take the English Regents exam because her family had been evicted the same day, and staff at a homeless intake center said they'd be denied shelter if the teen left. "I'm homeless so I have to be set back in my goals for my life?" asked Rosa, 17. "Isn't it enough that I'm homeless?" Rosa, a student at Brooklyn's High School for Civil Rights (anyone else see some irony in the name?), told staffers at the city's central family intake center she needed to take the 1:15 p.m. exam to earn her diploma. The workers told her the entire family - her mother, brother, sister-in-law and two baby nieces - had to be on hand for the seven-hour process. Rosa's mother, Rosario, was stunned. "I told them she needed to take this test to graduate," her mother said. "I couldn't believe what I was hearing." Because the family had nowhere to go, Rosa missed her exam. While her school allowed her to take the test later, The State invalidated the results because regulations forbid makeup Regents exams to discourage cheating.
And if that isn’t enough to get your blood boiling (figuratively, not literally), consider this one: also from the New York Daily News, “An irate Staten Island mom blasted a grade school principal for treating her son like a pint-sized Plaxico Burress after he brought a 2-inch-long toy gun to school. "This principal is a bully (gee, there are a few of them around) and a coward, and needs to be held accountable," said Laura Timoney, 44, after her teary fourth-grader was nearly suspended for playing with the tiny toy at lunch. "The school should be embarrassed. This is a common-sense issue." Patrick Timoney, 9, was terrified when he was yanked into the principal's office to discuss the teeny-weeny plastic "weapon." "The gun was so little," the boy said. "I don't understand why the principal got so upset. I was a little nervous. They made me sign a statement." Patrick and a friend were playing with Lego figures in the school cafeteria when he pulled out the faux machine gun and stuck it in the hands of his plastic police officer. Boom! Trouble ensued, with Patrick's mom getting a phone call from Public School 52 Principal Evelyn Mastroianni saying her son had somehow gone from straight A's to the NRA. "I was in disbelief," the still-fuming mother said. "Why didn't anyone step up with an ounce of common sense (she may have already answered the question – “People, people everywhere and nary a drop….) and put an end to the harassment of my child?" Timoney said her boy loved the toy figure because her husband is a retired police officer. The elder Patrick Timoney, a former 72nd Precinct cop, couldn't believe his son was nearly busted over something so obviously inauthentic. "It's a 2-inch gun," he said. "She went overboard. She should have said, 'Put the toys away,' and that would have been the end of it." Yeah, should have (somehow things like this suddenly get straightened out when they appear in the news). And who said zero tolerance equals zero common sense? I did!
This whole thing about politics is like a see-saw – no matter which end is up, it’s the same see-saw. Get off the ride and vote for me! (http://www.bermansbits.com/politics.html)
A Cancer Center TV ad has the fine print that says, “No case is typical. You should not expect these results” (emphasis added). Why not? If I wouldn’t expect to be cured, why would I call in the first place?
People (thankfully) not like (most of) us: A 16-year-old girl was buried alive by relatives in southeast Turkey in a gruesome honor killing just because she reportedly befriended boys, the Anatolia news agency reported. Acting on a tip-off, police discovered Medine Memi's body in a sitting position with her hands tied, in a two-meter-deep hole in a chicken pen outside her house in Kahta town, Adiyaman province, 40 days after she went missing, the agency said. A subsequent post mortem revealed that she had a significant amount of soil in her lungs and stomach, meaning that she was buried alive, forensic experts told the agency. The father is reported to have said in his testimony that the family was unhappy she had male friends. In honor killings, most prevalent in Turkey's mainly Kurdish southeast, a so-called family council names a member to murder a female relative considered to have sullied the family honor, usually by engaging in an extra-marital affair. (www.montrealgazette.com) “Honor” my, uh, eye!
(The bogus headline is #10)
Later.
|
|