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"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
Volume 15, Number 24, June 13, 2010
Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First,Reuters carried a Bit about biologists tracking jaguars in the Guatemalan jungle. The scientists found the Calvin Klein cologne Obsession for Men attracts big cats. Biologists use hidden cameras as a primary source for observing and tracking jaguars in Guatemala's Maya Biosphere Reserve, BUT they also rely on the cologne known for its complex scent, to help lure then research and hopefully ultimately preserve jaguars in the Central American country. In this country men use the scent to hunt and find cougars….
Next, from News of the Weird, presented as presented (embolden by yours truly): “America What a Country! In 2007, after a stay in the United States distinguished mainly by his acquisition of a long police record, illegal immigrant Cecil Harvey, 55, was deported to his native Barbados. However, according to records revealed by the New York Post in May, Harvey received, in late 2009, one last remembrance of America: $145,000 from the city of New York in settlement of his lawsuit over having once been held at Rikers Island jail for about a month longer than the law permitted.”
Finally, U.S. Homeland Security officials confirmed late last year that an estimated 200,000 temporarily admitted foreign visitors to the U.S. since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks are still in the country illegally, with overstayed visas, and that there is still no system in place to catch them. The problem had surfaced in last fall when a 19-year-old Jordanian man (legally admitted on a since-expired tourist visa) was arrested and accused of plotting to blow up a Dallas skyscraper. He had been arrested two weeks before that on a traffic violation, and even though he was on an FBI watch list because of visits to a jihadist Web site, he had no immigration "record" and thus was released after paying the traffic fine. [New York Times] And who was it who said: “Our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. They can track calves direct to their stalls, but is unable to locate 11+ million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Perhaps the solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.” Or maybe an ear tag…. (BTW, I had a thought [no it wasn’t lonely]. There are about 7.2 million undocumented workers in the U.S., and there are 15.3 million jobless Americans. I have a way to cut US unemployment in half….)
Mobitel, a mobile phone company in Bulgaria, has finally stopped releasing a mobile phone number -- all 8’s -- after everyone that has been assigned the number has died. The first person assigned the number, the CEO of the company, died from cancer. Then a "mafia boss" got it, and was shot to death. Then there was a "crooked businessman" who was shot and then a drug dealer who was killed. "We have no comment to make," said a Mobitel spokesman. "We won't discuss individual numbers." (London Telegraph)
A suburban Omaha man has died after being strangled by his 9-foot, 25-pound pet boa constrictor, authorities said. Cory Byrne, 34, died at a local hospital, just hours after police and paramedics pried the snake from around his neck, police said. Byrne had been showing the snake to a friend when it wrapped around his shoulders and neck and squeezed (are you really surprised? I mean, isn’t that what some snakes do? D-uh!). An officer was called to Byrne's apartment. The officer found Byrne on the ground with the snake still around his neck. Paramedics soon arrived and helped get the snake off Byrne and into a cage. The Nebraska Humane Society in Omaha has taken custody of the male red-tailed boa constrictor. (AP) To help solve the problem, a specialist with the Humane Society of the United States, said the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has done what government always does to solve problems - proposed legislation and regulations for boa constrictors.
Stupid Pills (or people unclear on the concept)! An Ohio woman spent three days in jail for calling the 911 emergency line five times looking for a husband. The dispatcher was flabbergasted by the requests and asked Audrey Scott, of Alliance, "You need to get a husband?" The 57-year-old Scott responded, "Yes." Told that she could face arrest for misusing 911, Scott responded, "Let's do it." Scott was convicted last week of improper use of the 911 system and was sentenced to the three days in jail, which she had already served since her arrest. Seven other days were suspended if she stays out of trouble for a year. After her release, Scott blamed the case on alcohol. Big surprise there! (http://www.the-review.com) (Hey, for some women, isn’t finding a husband an emergency?)
A veterinarian was called out one night to free a horse which had become tangled in a fence on a farm in Crediton, Devon. However, when she sedated the animal it fell asleep and landed on top of her (oops!) and she had to be rescued by firefighters. The vet was uninjured by the bizarre incident and the horse is now recovering after being cut free from the fence. The station manager who coordinated the rescue for Devon and Somerset Fire Rescue Service explained how the incident unfolded. He said: "One of the vets got herself caught between the horse and the ditch, but she's fine and we got her out."They [the two vets] were concerned about whether the horse had sustained some neck injuries, and if it had some fluid on the lungs."The vets were not sure of the state of the young mare, but we managed to achieve the rescue with the horse, but whether its initial injuries were severe they couldn't tell in the dark." (BBC News)
Police are investigating a strange situation following a killing in Phoenix, AZ. A husband allegedly shot and killed his wife with a handgun and then lived with her dead body. Officers who arrived at the home found the body of the 66-year-old woman inside. Thompson said the husband also apparently shot himself in the face in what appears to have been a failed murder-suicide attempt. The man was taken to a hospital for treatment and will be booked into jail later. The names of the man and woman have not been released. (www.tbo.com) (For my more erudite readers, maybe the story was inspired by Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily”)
It's not just the picture of beef on a new billboard in North Carolina that tries to catch drivers' attention; it's the aroma coming from the sign. The billboard on N.C. 150 in central North Carolina emits the smell of black pepper and charcoal to promote a new line of beef available at the Bloom grocery chain. The billboard shows a fork piercing a piece of meat. A Bloom spokeswoman says the billboard will emit scents from 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. every day until June 18. A high-powered fan at the bottom of the billboard spreads the aroma by blowing air over cartridges loaded with fragrance oil. (The Charlotte Observer) Hmmm, I wonder what they have planned for the Beano sign….
Finally, I searched a quote site (The Quote Garden) for quotes about ‘stupidity.’ Interestingly, and no kidding, the list listed (1) Sayings about Politics and Politicians, (2) Sayings about Love, (3) Sayings about Business, (4) Sayings about Automobiles, Cars, Traffic…, and finally (5) Sayings about Drugs. So, instead of “Stupid” quotes, how about a list of some of the most controversial “games” as provided by The List Universe: (1) “Battle Raper,” (2) “RapeLay,” (3) “Super Columbine Massacre RPG!” (4) “Baby Shaker,” (5) “Muslim Massacre,” and, finally (6) “Ethnic Cleansing.” Details on these and others can be found at http://listverse.com. Sigh. (And we wonder why so many people are screwed up.)
Later.
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