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"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
Volume 15, Number 27, July 4, 2010
Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, are we celebrating the wrong day??? Lengthy but worth it: “America's independence was actually declared by the Continental Congress on July 2, 1776. The night of the second the Pennsylvania Evening Post published the statement: "This day the Continental Congress declared the United Colonies Free and Independent States." So what happened on the Glorious Fourth? The document justifying the act of Congress-you know it as Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence-was adopted on the fourth, as is indicated on the document itself, which is, one supposes, the cause for all the confusion. As one scholar has observed, what has happened is that the document announcing the event has overshadowed the event itself. When did Americans first celebrate independence? Congress waited until July 8, when Philadelphia threw a big party, including a parade and the firing of guns. The army under George Washington, then camped near New York City, heard the news July 9 and celebrated then. Georgia got the word August 10. And when did the British in London finally get wind of the declaration? August 30. John Adams, writing a letter home to his beloved wife Abigail the day after independence was declared (i.e. July 3), predicted that from then on "the Second of July, 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America. I am apt to believe it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival." A scholar coming across this document in the nineteenth century quietly "corrected" the document, Adams predicting the festival would take place not on the second but the fourth.” (History News Network)
Next, the Independence Day tradition of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, NY started in 1916! Supposedly the event began as a way to settle a dispute among four immigrants as to who was the most patriotic. (Just between us, I am not sure how eating the most hot dogs demonstrates patriotism, but I after some thought, can see that as a way to settle differences. Let Obama and Ahmadinejad sit down at a table and chow down on, say, boneless spare ribs! Whoever eats the most in so many minutes wins; the loser has to give up pursuing nuclear capabilities.
Finally, other things connected with July 4th: (1) 1862 - Lewis Carroll tells Alice Liddell a story that would develop into Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1865) and its sequels. (2) 1886 - The people of France offer the Statue of Liberty to the people of the United States (I guess we accepted). (3) 1903, Dorothy Levitt was reported as the first woman in the world to compete in a 'motor race' (I did a search and found she’s pictured in a fur coat… unlike Danica Patrick who seems to be posing in not much). (4) 1959 - With the admission of Alaska as the 49th U.S. state earlier in the year, the 49-star flag of the United States debuts (it went to the 50-star version in 1960). (5) 1976 - Israeli commandos raid Entebbe airport in Uganda, rescuing all but four of the passengers and crew of an Air France jetliner seized by Palestinian terrorists. (6) 1997 - NASA's Pathfinder space probe lands on the surface of Mars (but ‘they’ still can’t stop an underwater oil leak!). (7) 2010 – this July 4th column is published.
It’s time for Berminal Minds: A voice says, “P. J. O'Rourke once said, ‘Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.’ Alyssa Thomas, six years old, is a little girl whose family recently discovered that Alyssa is on the "no fly" list maintained by U.S. Homeland Security. "We were, like, puzzled," said Dr. Santhosh Thomas, the girl’s father. On a recent trip, the ticket agent at the Continental counter at Hopkins Airport notified the family. "They said, well, she's on the list. We're like, okay, what's the story? What do we have to do to get off the list? This isn't exactly the list we want to be on," said Dr. Thomas (who must have had a miserable childhood). The Federal Bureau of Investigations in Cleveland will confirm that a list exists, but for national security reasons, no one will discuss who is on the list or why (“Garcia, get me a list of everyone who’s on the list and why!” [It was done before I finished asking. “Garcia, you angel, I love you!”]). The Thomas family was allowed to make their trip but they were told to contact Homeland Security to clear-up the matter. Alyssa just received a letter from the government, notifying the six-year-old that nothing will be changed and they won't confirm nor deny any information they have about her or someone else with the same name. According to the Transportation Security Administration, Alyssa never had any problems before because the Secure Flight Program just began in June for all domestic flights. A spokesperson will only say, "The watch lists are an important layer of security to prevent individuals with known or suspected ties to terrorism from flying." Right now, Alyssa has other priorities. She lists them as, "My Barbies, my magic mirror, and
jumping on my bed!" Dr Reid interjects: “Barbie’s full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. She is from Willows, Wisconsin, and went to Willows High School. Barbie was named after the daughter of Mattel founders Ruth and Elliot Handler. Their son’s name is: Ken. The first Barbie doll sold for $3. The first Black and Hispanic Barbie dolls were introduced in 1980. Barbie’s first career was as a teenage fashion model. She has since
had other careers including astronaut, rock star, paleontologist, presidential candidate (Did Hotch just smile?), and Olympic ice skater, as well as many others. Barbie introduced a rap group in 1990 called ‘Barbie, and the Beats.’ More than 105 million yards of fabric have gone into making the fashions of Barbie, and her friends, making Mattel one of the largest apparel manufacturers in the world. Placed head to toe, Barbie dolls, and her friends sold since 1959 would circle the earth more than seven times. Every second, three Barbie dolls are sold somewhere in the world.” (“What are you, some kind of genius? “I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute. Yes, I’m a genius.”) But Alyssa Thomas’s name will likely stay on the list and as for the next time she flies, the FBI says they'll rely on the common sense of the security agents. "She may have threatened her sister, but I don't think that constitutes Homeland Security triggers," said Dr. Thomas. (www.fox8.com) As they fly home in the final scene, the voice says, “Elbert Hubbard once said, ‘Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.’” Stay tuned for scenes from next week’s episode in which American is swept by a chronic stupidity and keeps electing Bozo politicians” (“I sense a pattern here”). (Apologies to Bozo)
Was it Davy Crockett who said, “Be sure you’re right, then go ahead”? From Reuters: Mexican singer Sergio Vega was murdered while on a national tour… just hours after denying reports of his death. The 40-year-old singer, known as El Shaka, was driving his red Cadillac to a concert in the northern Mexican state of Sinaloa when his car was intercepted by thus far unknown shooters in a truck, reports said. His murder came just hours after he told entertainment website La Oreja that online reports of his death were wrong. (Maybe someone has a crystal ball that really does work [cue and play “Twilight Zone” theme])
Mainstream news (why the law is an ass): an allegedly drunk driver in NH who hit and killed a woman who was on a motorcycle as part of a charity ride had been arrested 12 hours earlier for drunken driving. Under current law, he was given a temporary license for 30 days while police go through the process of revoking the permanent license. Said one brilliant lawmaker: "Within that 30 days, tragedies like this can happen, so we're suggesting once you're arrested you don't get that license back… and if this law was in, it wouldn't have happened." (WMUR) You know what? If that law was in effect, I doubt it would have mattered! He most likely would have driven anyway! It’s only a law, and if you don’t respect one, you won’t respect others.
As a retired teacher almost getting by, the following Bit caught my eye: The Knicks just finished pitching LeBron James. Their main selling point: You could make a billion dollars playing in New York (salary and endorsements). You can't earn anything close to that anywhere else.” (Forbes.com) With the fuss some people are making, one would think it’s the Second Coming (probably for some, he is). Shoot, I could have made that much… if I kept teaching for something like another 17,000 years. I guess we know what society truly values (and it ain’t education)!
Arizona’s been taking shots (no pun intended) - calls for boycotting this or that because of its new immigration law that requires immigrants to carry their alien registration documents at all times and requires police to question people if there's reason suspect they're in the United States illegally (oooh!). The law also targets businesses that hire illegal immigrant laborers or knowingly transport them. Has anyone decided to support Arizona by visiting or scheduling something there instead of pulling out? What part of “illegal” don’t people understand?
A look toward the future (or “Recovery? What recovery?”): As many as 200,000 state workers in California saw their pay scale slashed to minimum wage until there’s a budget. In a letter to the state controller this past week (7/1/10), Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration ordered the department to reduce the payment of state workers to the hourly rate of $7.25 unless a budget is reached soon.” Very scary! Not the Hope and Change I voted for!
Finally, a worthy quote from Christopher Hitchens that got me thinking: "What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof." Just sayin’.
Later.
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