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"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
Volume 15, Number 28, July 11, 2010
Greetings, and thanks for joining me for another week. Starting us off are a few news stories you may have missed. First, Joran van der Sloot (remember him? The alleged killer of two young women [that we know about]) may be behind bars in an infamous Peruvian jail on murder charges, but that didn't stop him from trying to set up a potentially profitable television deal. According to sources within the Castro Castro prison, the Dutchman has attempted to sell an on-camera interview for $1 million. A $1 million payout would be extremely valuable, allowing him more power in prison with an ability to buy things and manipulate other inmates (and guards?) to get whatever he wants…. (CNN) I wonder if he’s going to call it If I Did It. What is with people? Commit a crime and profit from it…. (I haven’t committed any crime, but I will still grant in interview for $1 million!)
Next, parenthood! When you have a child, that new being becomes the most important person in your life… or should. The parents of a 13-month-old Texas boy are facing felony endangerment charges after the child's father allegedly put a marijuana bong on the toddler's lips. A witness told cops that the man took several hits from the bong and then placed his son's mouth on the glass device. Garcia was charged with child endangerment and marijuana possession. (www.thesmokinggun.com)
Finally, I see where the post office is expected to raise the price of stamps again. I had a thought (no, it wasn’t lonely). What if the price was raised for the mostly worthless stuff that clogs the system and dropped for first-class mail? Every price raise drives me more and more to paying online. If it’s not too late already, a significant price drop would make it easier for me to buy that roll of 100 stamps. Just sayin’.
News in New Hampshire. There really is no good, regularly updated news outlets where I am (one online area paper I check daily still has a story from April 26 posted). I don’t know how it is elsewhere, but when it comes to news, our state’s main TV station reports it – they don’t seek it out – they don’t investigate and root out stories. Of course, maybe it’s not all bad - we can always count on the major national outlets to find and report on the important stories that really matter: (1) “Does Jessica Simpson Have a New Man?” (2) “Rihanna's Most Outrageous Outfit Yet.” (3) “Gwyneth Paltrow's New Best Friend.” (4) “Zoe Saldana: New Face of Calvin Klein Underwear.” (5) “Is Lindsay's Prison Sentence a Good Thing?” (6) “Queen Elizabeth to be great-grandma.”
Politics: “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.” Does anyone else see a problem with that statement? (Here, sign this contract and then I’ll tell you what’s in it!)
In a related Bit, I am afraid we’re going to see more and more extreme measures when it comes to health care. Universal health insurance cannot come soon enough for uninsured Kathy Myers, 41, of Niles, Mich., who, suffering an increasingly painful shoulder injury, has been continually turned away from emergency rooms because the condition was not life-threatening. Last month, as a last resort, she took a gun and shot herself in the shoulder, hoping for a wound serious enough for ER treatment. Alas, she missed major arteries and bones and was again sent home, except with even more pain. [WSBT-TV]
Has anyone ever counted how many Law and Order episode descriptions include the word “wealthy”?
Larissa Riquelme, the captivating lingerie model who enchanted soccer fans around the world with her enthusiastic support of the Paraguayan World Cup team, saw her pledge to run nude through the streets of Paraguay end in heartbreak when Spain defeated her favorite team in the quarterfinals last weekend. However, the beautiful Paraguayan has good news for her eager fans who were disappointed by the loss. Riquelme says she will run naked through Asuncion, even though Paraguay did not win the World Cup. The curvy model says her nude run "will be a present to all of the players, and for all the people in Paraguay to enjoy."
A US man has been arrested for taking his mother hostage at gunpoint for six hours after she refused to do his ironing. Robert Edward Tyrrell Jr, 29, of Villa Rica, Georgia, is facing charges of aggravated assault and false imprisonment. A sheriff’s dept. sergeant said that the man, who lives with his parents, insisted doing the ironing was "woman's work". "Mama finally said, "I'm not ironing your clothes," and he went cuckoo on her," the sergeant told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Tyrell pulled out a gun, took his mother's keys and mobile phone, and refused to let her leave the house, he added. The 51-year-old mother eventually managed to escape, and went to a police station. She was unharmed in the incident.
What was it that Dickens said about the law? Late last year, a Chicago judge ruled that former firefighter Jeffrey Boyle is entitled to his $50,000 annual pension even though he had pleaded guilty in 2006 to eight counts of arson (and allegedly confessed to 12 more). Boyle is known locally as "Matches" Boyle to distinguish him from his brother, John "Quarters" Boyle, who is now in federal prison for bribery following the theft of millions of dollars in state toll-gate coins. Judge LeRoy Martin Jr. concluded that Matches' arsons were wholly separate from his firefighting. [Chicago Tribune]
A headline link of note: “Oracle octopus tips Spain to win......but psychic parakeet picks Holland....” Yes, suh! Okay, but can they tell me within five years on either end, when the U.S Civil War was fought?
Another headline begging to be read about: “Mexican clown arrested for sex assault....”
Yes, but is it art? A Serbian artist has completed the world's longest ever piece of performance art by staring at members of the public for 700 hours. Marina Abramovic sat for seven hours a day, six days a week, on a chair for her installation, entitled “The Artist Is Present” at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. Visitors were invited to sit in a chair facing her and simply return her silent gaze. Celebrities including Bjork, Lou Reed, Marisa Tomei and Isabella Rossellini were among the 1,400 people who came and sat opposite the artist, who always dressed in a long cassock. Some spent an entire day sitting opposite Abramovic while others managed just a couple of minutes. Other parts of her retrospective at the museum proved similarly controversial, particularly Imponderabilia, in which visitors must squeeze past a naked man and woman who stand facing each other in a narrow doorway. Abramovic's more challenging solo work has also included stabbing herself, playing with fire and standing motionless for six hours, having invited visitors to do anything they liked to her. At one point, a man held a gun to her neck but she remained still. (Ananova)
A Romanian woman did not report her husband’s death for two weeks because she thought he was faking his death to get away from her. The 72-year-old woman told police she wanted to make sure her husband wasn’t trying to trick her by faking his death so he could start a new life with his mistress, so she sat over his body for 14 days before going to authorities, the Romanian Times reports. Police said there were no signs of foul play and that the dead man had a well established heart condition.
Finally, some famous last words: (1) “Brothers! Brothers, please! This is a house of peace!” Malcolm X. (2) “Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!” Groucho Marx. (3) “In keeping with Channel 40′s policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first — attempted suicide.” Said by: Christine Chubbuck, 30-year-old anchorwoman, who shot herself live on the air. (4) “Now I can cross the Shifting Sands.” Said by: L. Frank Baum, author of The Wizard of Oz. The Shifting Sands are the impassable deserts surrounding the Land of Oz. (5) “This is a hell of a way to die.” Said by: George S. Patton, who died from a car accident, while out hunting. (6) “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.” Said by: George Appel, a convicted murderer, who was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were there to witness his execution. (The List Universe)
Later.
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